![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
10 years of RSI
Jun. 4th, 2017 09:28 pm10 years ago today, I felt the first symptoms of "repetitive strain injury". I put that in quotes because it's a flawed term that only partially describes what's going on. I also sometimes describe my problem as being a chronic pain condition, although that is also an imperfect label.
I developed my condition after seven years of working as a videogame programmer for Frontier Developments - a job that often involved working ridiculous hours and high levels of stress. The year before I developed my condition had been particularly bad - three months without a day off (including weekends) and working until at least 10PM most days. On one occasion, I went into work on a Sunday, left to go and see Mitchell and Webb perform at the Cambridge Corn Exchange, then went back to work after the show. I would work through lunchtimes and through the weekly doughnut sessions, where the boss would give a motivational talk. If someone came to my desk to speak to me, I would often keep my eyes on the screen and carry on typing for the duration of conversation. In addition to my crazy work hours, my home life mostly consisted of being on the computer or watching TV, and even if I got home from work at 10 or 11 PM, I would usually get on the computer straight away.
The first symptom I felt was an ache in one arm that persisted for two days. Within a few weeks I had started to feel other symptoms such as tingling, weakness and sudden jolts of pain when reaching for objects. My productivity at work went down to perhaps a quarter of what it had been before. I started seeing a physiotherapist for treatment (two or three times a week), which helped, but I couldn't get back to where I had been before. My condition is poorly understood, both by me and by experts. At first it seemed to be related to tight muscles in the neck, shoulders and arms, which put pressure on the nerves. Muscle tension still seems to mostly correlate with worse symptoms, but it seems there's more going on than that. I learned a lot about how the brain and the pain system can change over time to make symptoms persist even when the original physical cause is diminished or absent. I also learned that expectations can affect how the brain modulates pain – thinking that something will be painful will make it more painful.
I have spent four and a half of the last ten years off work - six months in 2008, and four years from June 2013 to now. Technically I'm still employed by Frontier and there is a chance of going back, but it seems increasingly unlikely. Therefore I'm currently supporting myself by working as a personal tutor for GCSE and A-level Computer Science students. I mainly work over Skype, so I can tutor any student regardless of where they live. I have also been working on a game, although at a slow pace because of my condition and because tutoring takes up a lot of my time.
There are some good things that have come out of this. Because I could no longer spend much time online, and couldn't play games (which had been my main form of entertainment), I was forced to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. I tried gardening, dancing, climbing, indoor scuba-diving, having 15 minutes of fame on TV, running for elected office and driving American cars round America like some kind of American. I joined environmental groups, walking groups and St John Ambulance. I made some amazing friends, many of whom I never would have met if it hadn't been for this condition. 10 years ago I was so unfit that exercising five minutes would have left me out of breath for half an hour. Now I can jog or swim for an hour without stopping. I'm considerably less bad at dating and relationships than I used to be.
However, this isn't a tale of triumph in spite of adversity. I have to live with both the physical effects of my condition, and the frustration of having to hold back from doing the amount of work I really want to do. The financial implications of all this have been enormous. It's worrying to think about what the next 10, 20 or 30 years might be like. I've grown a lot as a person, but I'd love to be able to combine this with the work capacity I used to have. I'm more ambitious now, but my ability to apply it is very limited.
If you want to help, there are three things I need. First, if you know anyone who would benefit from a computer science/programming tutor let me know. Second, if you're game programmer or artist, I'm looking for people to collaborate with. Third, if my game ever gets finished, I'll need people to help test it, write App Store/Steam reviews for it and sharing posts/tweets with their friends.
Yours sincerely,
Me
I developed my condition after seven years of working as a videogame programmer for Frontier Developments - a job that often involved working ridiculous hours and high levels of stress. The year before I developed my condition had been particularly bad - three months without a day off (including weekends) and working until at least 10PM most days. On one occasion, I went into work on a Sunday, left to go and see Mitchell and Webb perform at the Cambridge Corn Exchange, then went back to work after the show. I would work through lunchtimes and through the weekly doughnut sessions, where the boss would give a motivational talk. If someone came to my desk to speak to me, I would often keep my eyes on the screen and carry on typing for the duration of conversation. In addition to my crazy work hours, my home life mostly consisted of being on the computer or watching TV, and even if I got home from work at 10 or 11 PM, I would usually get on the computer straight away.
The first symptom I felt was an ache in one arm that persisted for two days. Within a few weeks I had started to feel other symptoms such as tingling, weakness and sudden jolts of pain when reaching for objects. My productivity at work went down to perhaps a quarter of what it had been before. I started seeing a physiotherapist for treatment (two or three times a week), which helped, but I couldn't get back to where I had been before. My condition is poorly understood, both by me and by experts. At first it seemed to be related to tight muscles in the neck, shoulders and arms, which put pressure on the nerves. Muscle tension still seems to mostly correlate with worse symptoms, but it seems there's more going on than that. I learned a lot about how the brain and the pain system can change over time to make symptoms persist even when the original physical cause is diminished or absent. I also learned that expectations can affect how the brain modulates pain – thinking that something will be painful will make it more painful.
I have spent four and a half of the last ten years off work - six months in 2008, and four years from June 2013 to now. Technically I'm still employed by Frontier and there is a chance of going back, but it seems increasingly unlikely. Therefore I'm currently supporting myself by working as a personal tutor for GCSE and A-level Computer Science students. I mainly work over Skype, so I can tutor any student regardless of where they live. I have also been working on a game, although at a slow pace because of my condition and because tutoring takes up a lot of my time.
There are some good things that have come out of this. Because I could no longer spend much time online, and couldn't play games (which had been my main form of entertainment), I was forced to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. I tried gardening, dancing, climbing, indoor scuba-diving, having 15 minutes of fame on TV, running for elected office and driving American cars round America like some kind of American. I joined environmental groups, walking groups and St John Ambulance. I made some amazing friends, many of whom I never would have met if it hadn't been for this condition. 10 years ago I was so unfit that exercising five minutes would have left me out of breath for half an hour. Now I can jog or swim for an hour without stopping. I'm considerably less bad at dating and relationships than I used to be.
However, this isn't a tale of triumph in spite of adversity. I have to live with both the physical effects of my condition, and the frustration of having to hold back from doing the amount of work I really want to do. The financial implications of all this have been enormous. It's worrying to think about what the next 10, 20 or 30 years might be like. I've grown a lot as a person, but I'd love to be able to combine this with the work capacity I used to have. I'm more ambitious now, but my ability to apply it is very limited.
If you want to help, there are three things I need. First, if you know anyone who would benefit from a computer science/programming tutor let me know. Second, if you're game programmer or artist, I'm looking for people to collaborate with. Third, if my game ever gets finished, I'll need people to help test it, write App Store/Steam reviews for it and sharing posts/tweets with their friends.
Yours sincerely,
Me
